Go Dawgs!

Yes, we do spell dogs d-a-w-g-s! Way to go Louisiana Tech Bulldogs 2008 Indy Bowl Champs! We had so much fun at the Independence Bowl yesterday! Frank took me to Macaroni Grill to eat and then off to tailgating with the DX's! I should have known the restaurant was to repay me for the night to come! HAHA! The DX alumni guys made the trip to the game and hence set up tailgaiting in a Uhaul! I swear! They said that it doubled as a port-o-potty! I'm telling you they were closing each other in the back long enough for each of them to pee in a cup! How funny! One girl, a little tipsy of course, started to tell me a story when I noticed her open the wine bottle she was carrying to pour it into the red plastic Hefty cup she was carrying in her other hand! When I asked her why she was bothering with the cup if she was going to carry the bottle around anyway, she responded, "Oh, that would be so trashy!" "Oh, definitely," I told her! How hilarious! The whole night was just a blast! One guy had the neatest grill thing. It is called a "cajun oven". Google it!

Today, AC backed up and started to dance and rub her booty on Frankie's leg! "Daddy, I am rubbing poopoo on you like Mommie does when she dances with you!" Yes, I will have to watch my trashy dancing in the privacy of my own home with my husband from now on! Mom's always say they have eyes in the backs of their heads, but I swear that attribute is definitely genetic with my children. They are constantly showing signs of seeing what they never could have seen! HAHA!

I know after reading this blog that you are all wondering about our sanity around here (and I agree it is waning!) But we are generally fairly reasonably normal! We had a fun Christmas with both sides of the family! We also got to go to my cousin, Brent's, GRADUATION from LSUS! I am so proud of you, Brent!

The girls got a trampoline from Santa. His elf (Frankie) LOVED staying up until 2am putting that one together! The kids have not gotten off the thing though! Best babysitting ever!

And thank you for ALL of the birthday wishes! Although, I regret to announce that this will indeed be my final birthday! (No, I am not dying, silly!) I just refuse to take that giant leap to geriatrics! 29 is old enough for forever! So from now on I will be 29, not a day younger or older!

Gorden had four cows get out the other night. It cost him $400 to hire a cowboy to go wrangle them all up for him. He was over here and couldn't get to the cows. Turned out to be one expensive Christmas for him, but moreover, I am totally in the wrong profession. $400 for guiding a couple of cows back into the fence. I am sure it is harder than it looks, but dang!

NW Louisiana Wedding Registry suggestions!

Ok, you will NEVER believe this one, but I swear it is true as well! I was discussing my fabulous entrepeneural plans for community improvement for Vivian with my team members today! I mentioned that the town could benefit from a small wedding shop with a gift shop for registries! "OH, NO!" they replied! "Vivian already supports the best wedding registry shop! Oh, yeah! ALL the brides register there!" Of course I asked, "Where? I can't wait to check it out! I love new little specialty stores!" To this they answered, "Well, the hardware store, of course, they have all kinds of great stuff there. They have a "gifts" section with apple plates and all sorts!" I swear that I did not make this up!
In case any of my students are related to the super nice folks that run the hardware store, do not fear! My husband supports your store grandly! Remember, I can only pick because I live in RODESSA. YOU should feel sorry for ME!

The best Christmas presents!

I was laughing so hard today! Ok, as a teacher, I would like to let everyone know that school supplies, sweet treats, and gift cards all are much appreciated teacher gifts at Christmas. On the other hand, nighties are on a whole "nuther" level! And YES, my team teacher did receive a nightie from one of students today! (Well, I never! I know.) I did receive some deoderant as a gift from a sweet student today! In her note she said something to the effect of the "secret" of Christmas! Whew! I have to admit I was nervous there for a minute! I do bathe daily! I promise! She luckily gave all of my team the same fabulous gift, so that eased my worries as well! I ain't the only stanky fool at school! It was a funny and USEFUL gift! HAHA! And I do love my students! Thanks for all of the fabulous gifts!

Lovely Country Homeplace

I just thought I'd share this lovely homeplace in our community! What a fabulous idea to put up the skirting! Frank and I are taking notes for when we upgrade in our retirement!

Little Helper Elf

Our tree really does look rediculous this year! We only have ornaments on the top half to start with and now we can't leave the tree skirt under the tree because L keeps taking it! I guess it is soft and cuddly enough because we keep finding her down the hall napping in it! HAHA! So cute! Christmas this year has been SO busy, but so fun now that the girls are older! They are so funny about having just the right thing to wear in their programs and telling us that we are suppose to just "spend time with family for Christmas", except that that means they want something right then, if you know what I mean! They loved their swimming party the other night! Ann Cherie told me she was just "having the party of the life" after we joked with her about everyone showing up. Of course she meant party of the year! HAHA! For her to even think like that is so cute! I hope your Christmas season is just as busy, because I just think the stress in some ways has added to the fun!

Birthday Cake Fiascos!

I just thought that all should know to NEVER trust the birthday cake with a three to be four year old! I swear I just ran to the bathroom for less than a minute! Just look what she did to the cake MINUTES, and I do mean mere MINUTES before it was to be served! Luckily, it was just family eating this one! Can you believe the mess! Lovely! Well, Happy Birthday to M anyway! Oh, and Mom, I did not leave her with a knife! Didn't you know she "was a big girl,and dot a tife and helped Momma icin' the take!" I'm not THAT bad of a mom, really, I knew what you were thinking! I also get the mother of the year award for forgetting to order the birthday cakes for their birthday party last Friday night. Seriously, I totally did not have them a cake! Nevertheless, Brookshires, we now know, makes a really great cake and will put your kid's name on it in less than a minute! How fabulous, huh! (Said Sarcastically...) Really, I am the WORST mother of the year!

My Christmas Angel

I know I have been fussy this week, and yes, all of those things happened THIS WEEK! I have had quite a week, but tonight my luck changed at the local mall(Wal-Mart). I was shopping for stuff to decorate my candy canes to turn them into reindeer and stuff for the girls school parties and their gift exchanges, etc. When I went to check out I decided to get in the nicotine aisle for it looked shortest (I have terrible luck with this!) It happens to be aisle 7! I started talking to the lady checking out with her two buggies full of yarn (which due to the paper around the yarn they were not scanning so easily!) I told her my mom crochets and she is always carrying her bag of yarn around and so on for a while! Then the guy between us spoke up about how his grandmother quilts and so on. The guy behind me finally chimed in and soon enough we were all talking about all sorts of things. Well, when the guy in front of me finished checking out his total was about $21.00 worth of stuff and he used his gift card so I thought he probably had a couple of dollars left because it had probably been a $25 dollar card. He turned and handed me the card and said, "Merry Christmas, you can spend the rest!" I was gracious and appreciative and said so and wished him merriment as well! He headed on his way, and I started to check out. My order came to $89-90 so I swiped the what I thought to be $3 gift card and the lady handed me the receipt and said, "Oh, what a blessing! I am so glad that I am your cashier tonight because I hear about this happening but I have never been working!" I said, "WHAT, it paid for ALL of it? OMG!" I was in shock. She continued to show me how there was about $10 left on the card and the guy behind me had probably $8 worth of stuff in his hand so I told him to finish out the card because I didn't feel like it was my money to keep! OMG! I still cannot believe this happened to me. So I guess the moral of the story brings back Ann's oft said words of, "Be kind to everyone because you never know when you might meet an angel!" I know we all need to pay it forward this holiday season. I do love the song that asks the question of Mary, "What was it like to kiss the face of God?" I feel like I do everytime I kiss my babies! My kids and my crazy life are truly blessings and maybe it simply took my angel to make me stop and see my crazy life in this way! Pray for us to survive the 30 seven year olds that are coming to AC's party tomorrow! Remember the reason for the season. Hope life is a party on your side of the island!

PooPoo Problems Cont.

Ok, it seriously is not my week! I got up this morning 15 mins late. I had forgotten to set out my clothes, and anyone who even remotely knows me knows I do not iron ahead of time. So I am ironing my clothes as fast I as possiblely can move and throwing them on as I get them ironed. About the time I get my pants buttoned and am ironing my shirt, suddenly I got a gassy feeling and then- WHAM! I pooped all in my pants! Needless to say it was awful. It was stinky and EVERYWHERE! Luckily I had not quite gotten to putting my shoes on. Now, I had to go clean up and start the entire process over again. Well, we made it to school on time, but by the skin of our teeth. I am really wondering what my principal values more- promptness or tidyness, because I certainly was not both of those! Prompt I was, but the second pair of pants didn't get ironed! Oh well! I was just excited that there was a clean pair in there in the pile on the couch that I could put on! (Go ahead and laugh about my laundry! You know your pile is staring you in the face!) I think my students thought it was some new fashion statement. Seriously, I have heard of older women having these issues. I am only 28 years old (I can claim it for a few more days!) Is this type of bodily function degeneration common AT MY AGE? I know I must have inherited the irritable bowel syndrome. Too bad they don't make disability for that! HAHA!

No such thing as a free lunch!

You all know my dad is an economist and he would say this to us everytime he saw a good used car salesman ad... HAHA! Tonight we went to eat at Pizza Hut- not so great on the waistline, but oh, the kids HAD to eat pizza tonight or death was eminent. And seeing as I just paid out the posterior for their birthday party on Friday night, we could not allow them to expire. When our food was being brought out to us the waitress tripped and the cup of steaming hot red sauce was splattered ALL OVER US! For real, all down all of our clothes, in our hair, on our plates, all over the baby chair, EVERYWHERE! The baby was screaming! The sauce burnt her arm all down one side! M was complaining for like forever about how her shirt was red and wet and uncomfortable... needless to say the meal was free! Except for the burn part, Frankie is now trying to think up good ways to trip (yeah, not tip) the waitress in order to keep the meal free next time! He did hint at teaching M just the right moment to stand up! HAHA!

I would like to thank our local mall (Wal-Mart) for donating 600 candy canes to our first grade fundraiser! Frankie said we are selling candy grams to try to make a poor teacher a dollar! HAHA! Or save a poor game warden one, because he knows I would have bought them anyway! HAHA! I am so very appreciative though to both the store and my FABULOUS parent who shall remain anonymous that manages there! You are both wonderful! Thank you for contributing so much to our school and supporting us in every way possible every time I ask! (And believe me, I know I ask a whole lot! Speaking of, next time you are out and about, you know our class is really in need of.... JUST KIDDING!)

Showtime

Frankie took the girls to his office christmas party today after taking them for their immunizations figuring he was in for a whiny treat. The girls decided to surprise him and came in and took a quiet seat. One of the biologists that works for the dept was not so lucky with his little "princess" and before Frankie could stop her M yelled out, "Daddy, that little girl is just throwing her a fit!" Everyone in the room chuckled except Frankie and the biologist of course! HAHAH!

AC and I were in the mall (walmart) the other day when a little old lady (probably 85) in a wheelchair came by and asked me to help her with a cake mix on the top shelf. AC asked me after that how old the lady was and of course I taught her the proper southern belle rule that you do not ever ask a lady her age just assume it is 18. She then proceeded to tell me that the lady was not 18 she was probably almost thirty because she looked a little bit older than me and I am almost 30 and I have been in a wheelchair! So now I am officially the old parent I suppose. I wonder how soon I will hear, "Mom, you are really wearing that? OMG, please!" Kids, they'll kill you, if not in body in mind!

Also, if you have not already then don't buy Alvin and the Chipmunks the movie! It is quite embarrassing to be in the middle of the mall (walmart) having your two older kids chanting (at the top of their lungs, no less) "Bow chicka wow wow" (yes, the porn theme) while the baby is swaying and grinning at all the noise! Greetings from the farm!

PooPoo Problems

I have been told to add to the things to do list below that I have been going to PT three times a week for this silly ankle! It is doing so well!

Anyway, on to the topic of importance for the day! This morning I was getting all of the kids and myself ready to head to Ruston for a birthday party! I had my shower and thought the kids were dressed when I realized I hadn't seen or heard the littlest one in a minute or two (they crawl away so fast!) I sent Ann Cherie to help me on the search and immediately I hear, "Mom, you better get in here!" Well, needless to say, M had just gone potty and failed to flush or close the bathroom door. Seeing that babies have a sixth sense when it comes to knowing that there is an adventure door opened that is otherwise always closed, L ventured in to play in the poo in the potty. "Not to mention that she could have drown"- as Nonnie adds, she was busily squishing a big ole poopoo ball in her hands with dirty water down her shirt (very happily, mind you!) Naturally, feeling like the WORST mother in the world, I jerked her up, turning on the bathtub water and yanking off her clothes as quickly as possible. I suddenly jerked off her diaper as I felt something quishy touch my body and slung poopoo in a line across the tub! She had poo'd in her diaper as well and not knowing, I had jerked it off of her only to spread the mess! Meanwhile the other girls are standing directly behind me hollering, "Mom, there is poopoo on L's face. Mom, there is poopoo on the rug. Mom, there is poopoo on the tub. Mom, there is poopoo in the tub. Mom, the water is about to reach the poopoo. Mom, the water just got the poopoo....."(I know you get my drift, right!) It was a nightmare! I was already late to meet Frankie for lunch to be able to head to Ruston and now this! Now, I am sad to admit that if this had been a church day, we would have just stayed home! You know you are laughing because you would have done the same! That walking out the door and the walls fall off the sides of the house feeling! SO MUCH FUN! Anyway, I had to tell this story in order to continue to provide the abstinence birth control for my single friends! HAHA! We did all make it out of the house clean and cloroxed! As well as the bathroom for any of my friends that may dare to venture to visit anytime soon! HAHAHAH!

I must also mention the wonderful acts of kindness performed in Vivian, LA, today! I must say that I do poke fun at this "near the middle of nowhere" farm and the surrounding communities that I live in, but it truely is all in my prior ignorance and meant in jest! Today I witnessed the goodness that people possess come out tenfold- teeth or no teeth! The First Babtist Church and Helping Hands painted a house in Vivian today for a ninety year old woman that no one even knew occupied the home. It looked brand new afterwards! I saw the packed front yard of cars and the hard work on my way out of town and felt nothing but great joy. I wish I could say I had been a part of the project. I also ate today at Grumpy's in Vivian, and not only was the food delicious, the cause was unbelieveable. The Jennings family in Vivian is coping with a cancer diagnosis their two year old grandson was recently handed. The boy is receiving treatment at St. Jude's in Memphis. Grumpy's sold fish dinners today to raise money to help financially support the entire family during this great time of need. What a blessing! I have never seen community support the way I saw the cars lined up and people generously buying meals and making donations. It is so easy to get all tied up into the negative politics fed to us about how lazy and disrespectful Americans are, but I cannot believe the rhetoric after viewing an entire community doing nothing today except for giving and caring for others on every street corner. I believe everything is life is done in some long shot way that we may not understand for the glory of God. Those were God's hands, and feet, and aching backs, and arms of outstretched love today. I am proud and thankful for the giving and loving people of the Vivian community.

Thinks I forgot to tell you...

In all my ranting above I forgot to tell you a few things! Jena got new dog! Her name is Dot! She is a golden retriever! I know she is going to love Jena's big fenced in backyard!

Also, I know I made grammatical errors in the post! Please do not grade for grammar, so I lose a point! Love me anyway!

DO NOT BUY YOUR LITTLE GIRLS A HSM TOOTHBRUSH! Although great for the teeth, they are most annoying when both of your girls have to come and make them sing in your ear EVERY MORNING and EVERY NIGHT (five times each) like you forgot the theme within the last five minutes! We should NEVER EVER EVER get a cavity if the toothbrushes continue to keep up with the Jones'! By the way, keeping up with the Jones' is a Louisiana saying that they even use on furniture commercials over here! So funny to hear them saying it! At first I thought there must really be a Jones family out there doing mighty well! Well, I never was the brightest apple on the tree!

My tree won the Vivian Town Lighting contest! My babies at school were so excited! I must admit that getting my aunt with an art degree to design my tree may have been cheating a bit! (HeHE!) I guess that was my way of playing politics to win in education! It's all about who you know, right!!?? HAHA! We did the same thing to win the pumpkin contest a while back!

Outlaws BBQ recently removed the "NEED NO TEETH TO EAT OUR BEEF!" sign. A tragedy really! It's just not the same to go through Vivian and not see that sign! Not to mention that business will probably drop off soon and the restaurant could be facing federal bailout if Vivian folks with few teeth failed to frequent the fine establishment! (No, really, the food is good!) I will take a picture and post soon! Just understand that the sign is missed! I went to the mall today(Wal-mart) and picked up a fabulous three hole puncher for my classroom and looked for VHS movies for christmas for my classroom. Did you know that Wal-mart NO LONGER SELLS VHS! Again, a tragedy! Again, picture coming soon! Hope all is well on your side of the island!

Christmas Chaos!

Whoever invented the word "holiday" (any holiday) should inevitably be locked in a room for a decade with the inventor of pantyhose! There is no rest in sight! I have an activity on the calender from now until like March 20th or something just for Christmas! Granted all of these activities must occur between now and December 25th OF THIS SAME YEAR, but there are enough activities planned to extend to the afore mentioned date and further to this same date of the next year. For example this past week alone I had the Casting Crowns concert on Monday night, and I had a tree lighting ceremony for the christmas tree my class decorated that day for the town christmas stuff on Tuesday night, which I didn't make it to because Laura ended up sick. I missed school on Wednesday because Frankie left for Baton Rouge for a meeting and Laura had 102 fever! Thursday night bunco, decorating the home and the classroom and hall outside the classroom for the "holiday", Friday night packing for Saturday party in Ruston, LA..... should I go on? That was this week- and we even skipped church on Wed. night! I cannot keep up! I swear the trash and laundry and dirty bathrooms and toys and books and christmas decorations and presents to wrap and cooking and .... AAARRRRGGGGHHHH! I am turning myself into a scurvy pirate and walking the plank! I am seriously going crazy! So to the person who invented the word holiday, next time please inform Webster to add time of craziness, lack of sleep, and immenent loss of funds as the formal definition. And God forbid, DO NOT INVENT ANY MORE HOLIDAYS! I do not have enough hormones to handle another one! (My girls and my husband, it seems, have not noticed or are ignoring the fact that there is a holiday approaching, other than following me around with every magazine that comes in the mail telling me how they want Santa to bring them EVERY ITEM IN THE MAGAZINE. And yes, they do make boy magazines called Cabellas, Brownells, Bass Pro Shop ads, etc. And yes, he does this!) Welcome to holidays on the funny farm!