Housecleaning helpers or no help...

After working in my classroom all day (the kids had "Terrific Tuesday" fun at the church) I came home to spend some time with my angels and get a few things done around the house! Ok, I know I am tired, but my children DO NOT HEAR ME when I speak. They tend to lose their hearing at around two years old in my family (it must be hereditary because their daddy does it, too!) I dropped them off in a huff up at Big Daddy's today after two hours of fighting with them to get anything done! I swear, I am worn out after making them DO anything! I had to chase them with the wooden spoon- I know I should have used it, but I was concerned that two blogs in a row about spanking my children would definitely have garnered the CPS's attention- to get them to halfway fold THEIR clothes today. Then I had to follow them with the bucket to the laundry room to get them to bring it to me. I was trying to make a point that when I asked them to bring me the bucket they were going to bring it to me (you know, the whole I am the mother thing! Especially after the humiliation at Wally World the other day!) I had to physically walk them into the living room to the bucket, lean over them so that they would lean over, push their fingers to grip the sides of the bucket, pick it up while holding their hands on it, and walk us to the dryer! (Now do you see why the wooden spoon would have been much more efficient?!) Now, after getting the clothes out of the dryer I asked them to bring me the dirty clothes. Well, I am sad to say my children have all grown deaf AND mute. So we did the whole walk with them trip again around the house to gather clothes. FUN FUN!!! Seriously, I wanted to pull their ears off by now! I looked on MY bed, now this is MY BED mind you, and someone had opened a package of crackers and left them on my bed! Well, Laura found that to be a fabulous snack all over my comforter! I asked the girls to bring me the broom and a dustpan (And told them the whole I didn't make the mess thing...) and got NO response. I ended up going to get the broom myself while uttering a few nice words under my breath. I made them some supper later and reminded them that their food was on paper plates to please throw them away when they were done. I reminded them that Laura liked to get into the food! It must have been a monumental task that I asked of them, because I came around the corner to find Laura covered in ketchup and bananas not two seconds after I set their food in front of them and from ketchup not from her own plate. (Literally, I walked back into the kitchen to make my plate! Needless to say, I never ate!) I looked in their room and their drawers were all open with clothes hanging out, not a shoe in the closet it seemed, and their whole comforter was pulled off the bed! I told them to pick it all up and that I would return in a while to check on their progress. Well, let's just say that it was still on the floor a while later when I went on my to-be-mentioned outing. I calmly asked Ann Cherie to run around and gather all the dirty dishes (which are theirs, of course!) and she told me she was BUSY-wait for it- ON THE COMPUTER! Well, that did it! I walked them out to the car with no shoes and no shorts in the rain and dropped them off at their Dada's house where their daddy had conveniently needed to work on his boat his last two days off! I left for Shreveport! I feel much better now. It is amazing how a spray tan, a Starbucks (a caramel machiato-with whole milk-I didn't skimp on calories tonight!), and another hour of whining to my mom on the phone revive your reason for living! My little rugrats...I swear...and mom, you can be proud! I did not climb into a book to hide away! I got away- all the way to Shreveport! YEAH!